Advice by Women in Their 40’s to Younger Women

By 40 you expect to make your life picture perfect. You wish to accomplish yourself as a successful wife, mother, business woman or whatever other demanding expectation you may want to put upon yourself. And for that you are really anxious today, though your life right now is pretty good, but you wish to make every right move to turn your life in the desired direction.

Here are 18 brutally honest things women turning 40 would want all women in their 30s to know.

  1. Accept and admire your individuality

Once you accept the strengths and weakness you are born with, you may be able to avoid a couple of wrong decisions you may be tempted to make in life. Once you recognize your true self, you are automatically redirected towards accepting and loving yourself fully.  And once you are comfortable in your own skin you are able to love and accept others which provides a much higher probability of maintaining healthy relationships.

  1. Provide Food to Your Soul

Make sure you feed your soul with what inspires you, make sure you make time for your hobbies. Pursue your passion and follow your heart. Indulge in new and different kind of activities until you find a few that give you that feeling of warmth, freedom and acceptance inside. Do what makes you feel complete and alive.

  1. Build and Preserve your Support Network

No matter how independent and self-sufficient you consider yourself to be.  A little assistance and a strong support network of friends, family and colleagues to share your life with is such a rewarding feeling. Make an effort in finding and cultivating new relationships with others that will love and support you and stand by your side whenever you are feeling low.

  1. Make originality your style

At times in life you are forced into wearing a mask and walking around like an imposter. Once you begin to show others what you really are and what is that you have gone through or are going through, they definitely thrust more faith and love in your relationship.  Once your near ones  see that you have ups, downs and struggles in life just like everyone else, you become more trustworthy and sincere to others.

  1. It’s Your Life

You may want to invest a greater portion of your life in caring for others, but remember after all it’s your life and you must live it. Nobody but you are responsible to make it worth the while. Your intentions and reasons for doing anything should not be guided by any ill- feelings. You cannot make everyone in your life happy simultaneously. Once you begin to make the best decisions for yourself instead of others, life gets easier and much smoother.

  1. Compromise; but to an extent

“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies; its compromise that moves us along,” True! However, you will be able to cut out quite a bit of a crap and pointless drama from your life if you know to what an extent you need to stretch yourself.  Compromise is required in any close relationship and is a good thing most of the time if the compromising is equal on both sides. If you are inclined towards giving up most of your needs and wants and adapt changes way too often, it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship and decide if it really is healthy for you to be a part of it.

  1. Travel More

You can always make money but you can’t always make memories. Money can buy you material things but more essentially it shall buy you memories. Stop making the meaningless purchases on material things and make sure you spend your money travelling around the globe. Traveling creates a sense of freedom and opens your eyes to the way others live in different parts of the world.

  1. Worry Less and Stop Comparing

Worrying triggers your anxiety and it may become an ugly part of your personality. Comparing yourself and your life to someone else and their life is the most detrimental thing you can do to yourself.  Once you realize that worrying will not change the outcome, you begin to accept whatever is going to happen to you. You realize and accept the fact that you will be okay no matter what. Comparing your life to others does nothing but bring your own self worth down. Just keep moving forward without looking back.  Once your stress levels drop you will yourself notice immense improvement in your social, physical and mental well-being. You will be more productive and happy.

  1. Keep the burden of expectations aside

Once you realize you can still have dreams about your life but with dropping the expectations regarding other people, you really start to live your life in the moment. An expectation placed on someone else is actually just a premeditated resentment. Aim high, be determined and have expectations from yourself each day you live but residing them on others is not a good choice.

  1. Don’t push yourself that hard

Once you decide on a career path that you could really see yourself doing for the rest of your life, you then become someone in the workforce that truly lives to work because they love their career of choice. Do what you love, do what defines you and what you are best at. Ideal existence comes into picture when you are working for yourself and looking forward to tomorrow.

  1. Save for the unexpected – unfortunate situations

Bring financial security amongst the top few things on your bucket list. Life will constantly be changing and probably continue to throw you unexpected curveballs so saving for upcoming hardships is a smart and sound decision. Give it a serious thought and take more serious actions regarding this aspect.

  1. Develop a Giving Nature

Develop an art of enjoying while helping others. For some this could entail volunteering time with a charity. Giving a part of your time to do something that benefits you in no way, shape or form keeps you grounded and thankful for what you have. It is very rewarding to forget about your problems in life by taking time to invest in someone else.  When you do something just out of the goodness of your heart and expect nothing at all in return, you surprisingly feel better about life no matter what is going on.

  1. Have a big- heart and be forgiving

If you spend a good part of your life bitter and angry about a few events that happened to you and for which you deeply hold other person at fault, you are only going to push yourself towards unhappiness, disappointment and depression.  Holding unforgiveness towards others and yourself for past mistakes will hold you back from happiness.  It might take you a while to develop such a nature if you don’t already have one. Once you are able to let go off hurtful things in the past, you will begin to see life in a brighter and more cheerful light.

  1. Mow down the negativity in your life

In some situations you do not really seem to have a choice in respect to people you are keeping up with most of the times. But with friends choose carefully, the type of people you wish to be around. Immediately do away with the meaningless give and take sort of relationships. Once you begin to learn proper boundaries to set with people you would rather not have to deal with everyday, life becomes easier because you choose not to let that negative person affect you any longer.

  1. No is a complete sentence; Contemplate before Saying “Yes”.

Your yes shall most of the time make everyone happy but you.  You need to decide who are you living for, yourself or everybody else. If you say no, you will want to justify or explain the situation so the other person will feel better about your no. It is so easy to get caught up in the feelings and emotions of relationships.  But you must realize that no really is a complete sentence and you need not justify every reason why you are unable to commit to an event or do something for someone else. Once you are confident in your ‘no’, it is easier to make decisions for yourself instead of others.

  1. Stop and admire little things in life

This is so simplistic. We currently live in a world where everyone is connected to one or many electronic devices or the internet and it’s getting harder to unplug and just enjoy everything that makes life worth living. Stop to enjoy a sunrise or sunset every once in a while, sit under the stars on a night with few clouds. Stop and smell the flowers. Go visit the mountains or the ocean, admire nature. We live in a world where Ferris Bueller is so right – “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

  1. What others think of you; is not your problem

The sooner you will figure this out the better your life will become. You are mostly so much concerned with what others might think or comprehend; you mislead yourself into doing things you did not want to. Once you realize that what others think of you is really none of your business your live will expand and you will be inspired by right motives. Once you are able to be yourself and forget caring what other people think about you, life gets better because the worry and the expectation of pleasing others is eliminated.

  1. Embrace Change

You love life when it is stable, predictable and cliché. It makes you feel secure. Life is the most unpredictable thing; you must be ready to face any number changes without batting an eyelid. Once you are able to embrace change and know that life can, and most probably will, take variety of different turns, you are up for the challenge and better suited to accept whatever comes your way.

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